Happy Birthday Megan!!!

Live it up Mary Megan...go shorty, it's ya birfday.

This makes me angry...

http://www.etix.com/travel/servlet/onlineSale?action=viewTourDescription&route_id=11123&franchise_id=69

Some people will do anything to make money.

No, really, be my guest. Go ahead and look at my Aunt Jennie's house. I mean, she's not there anymore. That 6 feet of water in her house kind of put it out of commission for a while. In fact, seeing the condemned sticker on it is a nifty little sidenote.

Check out my Aunt Paula's house. Sure, she lost her entire business, and her son had to drop out of college, but I'm sure the $3 that's going to the charity will really help out.

Hey, maybe we could start up tours in Mississippi and you could see how my Aunt Mary's house got moved off of its foundation and across the street!

Am I crazy? Who signs up for this stuff? I'm sorry to be so bitter, but this sucks.

Attack of the ice storm

Ice is not very fun to drive in. In fact, it's even less fun when it's sleeting and snowing at the same time. But hey, I made it home from work alive!

Oh, and cheers to the guy I work with who not only lent me an ice scraper, but proceeded to scrape my windshields and windows for me. Chivalry isn't completely dead.

Camille goes under the knife

...or the laser. Laser surgery for pets now. Amazing. Kitty gets spayed Monday. I'm a little nervous, but I know deep down she'll be fine. They said we could visit her that night...we're totally going to.

Girard and I got to go play with people our age!

We went over to their apartment to watch the SEC football championship game.

I made a dessert.

Not that I don't love talking to G, but it's really nice to have someone else to talk to besides him and Camille. I think we may have real, actual friends in Dallas!

What's that smell?

Oh, it's just me...burning in Hell. Why? Because, I am trying to track down the priest. I just want to ask him a simple question. And he won't answer the phone/e-mail me back. Hence, I've been cursing his Irish Catholic priest name.

So my dad e-mails him. The man answers him the same day. I e-mailed him, oh, almost 2 weeks ago. But, he only half answers my question, so I'm still cursing him.

Yep, straight to Hell.

Drinking in bars with boys

A post in the fabulous "Putting it Out There 2005" made me think about meeting boys in bars. Is it really so bad? My dad said I'd never meet the man of my dreams in a bar. Ha. Proved him wrong. That's really why I'm marrying G. To prove a point. Just kidding.

I mean, Girard and I met in a bar and one night hung out until 9:30 in the morning, talking. Really. Ok, so we made out a little too, but I didn't go home with him or vice versa.

I totally felt like I had to clarify myself just then. God, am I talking to my mother?!? Anyhoo, point is, what's your take? Can you meet the man of your dreams in a bar?

a. Abso-freakin-loutely
b. Ehhhh
c. Never in a million years, that's tacky
d. Only after 6 or 7 Jack & Cokes!
e. The ever present "none of the above"

I pick "a".

NOLA here I come

I'm so excited! I go back to New Orleans on Friday. I can't wait!!

I am woman...

Okay, so I've never considered myself a real feminist or anything. I mean, I want equality for women and all of that, but I'm not a super bra-burning, armpit hair growing, down with men kind of chick. (Disclaimer: I don't necessarily think all femininsts are like that, just an exaggeration for effect.)

Anyhoo, I'm driving along and I see a decal on a truck in front of me. The truck is a Dodge Ram. The decal says, and I quote:

"Watch my Dodge while I Ram your girl"

Um. Okay. Can you imagine bringing this boy home to momma? Seriously, what would your parents do? What would your dads do? I know it's meant to be funny, but it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Okay-stepping off of my soapbox.

LOST is new tonight! Who will get bumped off?!?

Tempin' Ain't Easy

Actually, it's not really hard, either. I just liked the play on words.

I work for UPS right now as an "administrative assistant."

My first day there, I worked for a while in dispatch with a woman named Lou. Yep.

Everyone is nice, but definitely not something I want to do for the next 2 months of my life.

Called the Hyatt and they are still interviewing people. Could everyone cross their fingers that I get that job?

Happy Halloween!

I finally have an apartment...and Internet!

Went to Little Rock to get my car this past weekend and my parents went to a Halloween party.

Mom's outfit included a pink plastic dress, clear heels (i.e., stripper) and some frosty pink lipstick.

She was a groupie and my dad was an aging rock star.

I heart my parents.

I seee you!

Umm, so, kitty is a perv. Or just curious. I think you all know what I'm talking about.

There are only so many places you can put her in a hotel room. We tried putting her in the bathroom, but she just meows and meows and meows. And meows some more.

Thank goodness we'll be moving into the apartment soon. I'm starting to feel a like an unfit mother for corrupting Camille.

I'd like some cheese with my whine

Okay, this initial post was like 8 pages long so I decided to slim it down. Here goes:

Got in a fight with G yesterday about wedding. Reception hall closed, church probably closed, can't find photographer and priest. His mom is telling me we probably can't have a rehearsal dinner (they live in South Carolina, so it's not like they were affected by the storm) even though I know places are open. Makes G's dad happy because he is a notorious cheapskate. His budget for the dinner would feed 20 people hot dogs and water. God, I'm a bitch. Sorry Frank.

On top of this, moving our stuff out of storage and into an apartment. I've literally moved over 15 times in 25 years. I hate moving.

I also don't have a job yet.

Fight is aggravating because G is mad that I won't ask him to help, but, hold on, when we were still in Metairie, he'd offer to help. I'd give him something to do. Never, ever got done over a 3 month period. "I'll do it next week" was his mantra.

I'm sorry. I know, I have nothing to complain about. I'm just a little overwhelmed right now.

Let me see you sweat

I had an interview this morning! I feel like a productive member of society again--almost.

I was watching ESPN2 and let me tell you, the competition was fierce between Joo Se Hyuk and Zoran Primorac. Am I the only one that thinks that Zoran's name sounds like a prescription for an STD?

Anyhoo, the crowd was rapt and the commentators were on point, slinging out zingers such as "How fit are these athletes?!"

What were these athletes playing?

Ping-pong. Yep, ping-pong. The Killerspin Championships at the Mohegan Sun Resort in Connecticut.

Yeah baby, you know you're jealous.

Livin' La Vida Loca

I had an interview this morning! I feel like a productive member of society again -- almost.

I'm watching ESPN2 and let me tell you, there is some fierce competition going on between Joo Se Hyuk and Zoran Primorac (whose name, by the way, sounds like a prescription for an STD).

The crowd is rapt, and the commentators are on point. Especially the one that said, "How fit are these athletes?"

So what is this sport, you may ask?

It is the Killerspin Championships at the Mohegan Sun Resort in Connecticut.

Ping-pong. Yep. Ping-pong.

Yeah baby, you wish you were me.

Oh, and the Fairmont (where I was having my reception) is closed for 9 months to a year.
The church may not be structurally sound.
But seriously, as irritating as that is, I have to take a deep breath and repeat this: "I could be a lot worse off. I am fine. If this is the worst of my problems, I'm happy."

Yee frickin' haw

I totally feel like I'm starring in the feature film "Bumpkin in the Big City." Dallas is massive. I mean, gargantuan. Did I spell that right?

The hotel is nice and everyone has been really friendly, but I guess I'm just used to my old neighborhood where everything I needed was 3 minutes away.

Oh, but hold the phone: Super Targets. Lots of them. These did not exist in New Orleans. I was beside myself when I saw them.

No cowboy hat yet, but I'll try to get one soon!

Oh, and Girard's parents want to come here for Thanksgiving too. Mom is not happy. My favorite quote from her:

"But Catherine, I feel like I can't drink as much as I want to in front of them." Yay for my martini-lovin' momma.

On the road again...for like the 8th time

We leave for Dallas tomorrow. I'm pretty excited. Moved our furniture Monday and Tuesday- we were able to get my car even though Orleans Parish was closed. We saw downtown and boy, talk about surreal.

It really does look like a bomb went off but left most of the buildings standing. It was hard not to cry.

But, we're getting a fresh start, and people have been great about offering up contacts for jobs and such.

Next time I post I'll be sure to do it in a Texas accent. Hook em' horns and all that stuff.

A few hurricane stories...

I realized that I had forgotten to update on some of the things I had written about in my "Little Rock" post.

Amy (my cousin the ER nurse) is doing better. She was allowed to leave for a few days and is now working 7 days on, 7 days off, which is still pretty grueling, but better than before.

One of the stories she told me was about a woman that paid someone $100 dollars to bring her husband to a hospital for dialysis treatment. She had no idea which hospital, so when she showed up at the hospital, she told Amy she had been walking for 16 hours.
Her husband was there, and the administrators at the hospital were not going to let her stay with him. Amy cried and pitched a fit, and they had the gall to call her "emotionally unstable." Unstable? I'd be certifiably insane. Anyway, they let the woman stay, so all's well that ends well. She also:

1. Helped deliver a baby in a National Guard truck
2. Helped revive an 8 month old whose mother gave her flood water
3. Demanded that a man who desperately needed treatment be admitted to the hospital. He was very obese, and the higher ups said they couldn't treat him, but after she put her foot down, they let him in.

I am so proud of her.

The PR director at the Hyatt is not missing. She just decided to drop everything and leave. Smart lady.

I'm sorry this is so long. I wanted to brag about Amy. She deserves it.

Dallas, anyone?

Despite my fervent prayers that Girard be transferred to St. Louis or Kansas City, we are being transferred to Dallas.

It's okay, though, because:

1. Direct flights everyhwere
2. Great shopping
3. I can wear a cowboy hat! (I can, can't I?!?)

I'm a little nervous about being in such a huge city but I think it will be okay.

Hope everyone else is doing okay. Miss you all.

Live from Little Rock!

Girard, Camille and I evacuated on Saturday afternoon to Little Rock because my parents just moved there. It only took us 9 hours, which is amazing, because the drive normally takes 8 hours.

New Orleans is falling apart. I am terrified for my cousin Amy. She is an ER nurse at Ocshner Hospital. They have no air conditioning or running water and food is getting low. She is working on about 2 hours of sleep each night. They actually gave her a sleeping pill this morning so she would sleep some more. She had to be given fluids because she was so dehydrated. Knowing her, she's making sure everyone else has water before she gets any.

Ocshner is being protected by armed guards. A nurse at another hospital walked outside and was held up at gunpoint.

Looters were going into the Hyatt (where Girard works) and were breaking through drywall to get into rooms and stealing things. The PR director is missing. They found her wallet and ID badge, but she is no where to be found.

I don't know how our house is. It could be under just 2 feet of water, or it could be gone.

I still feel so lucky to have gotten out and to have family that will take care of us. We really are lucky. Many have no place to go and are stuck in hotels.

We can probably go back on Monday, but then we have to leave for a month so they can clean everything up.

Cassie is doing ok. She is at the Hampton Inn in Bossier City. Meg, I'll call you with her info.

I just hope everyone is ok.

I've got a way with words

Two women came into the office today to pick up their fathers' cremated remains (or cremains, as we say in the biz). This does not happen too often and is usually pretty uneventful.

I would also like to preface this by saying when they hired me, they told me I would never have to deal with families. So I was completely unprepared.

So the daughter signs the paperwork and just starts bawling. I mean, all-out, body-shaking sobbing. I freeze. I have no idea what to do, say, etc...I feel like saying "I'm sorry for your loss" or "I know this is a difficult time" would be completely inappropriate.

I just stand there and shuffle some paperwork on my desk. Then the sister starts bawling. I'm such a moron I forget to offer them the Kleenex that are sitting on my desk and she has to ask for them.

The first woman asks for the box and I say: (drumroll please)

"Sure, pass it around!"

Good one, Catherine. Smooth move.

Thank goodness they were too grief-stricken to notice my incredibly lame comment.

Oh well. I guess it's better than, "He's in a better place now."

Not much to report

Let's see:

The new kitty's name is Camille. She likes to wake up mom and dad at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and occasionally she'll scratch the hell out of me at 5 a.m. But she's cute as can be, so it's kind of hard to get mad.

I started classes at UNO on Monday...I'm going back to school to become a certified teacher.

I know- me responsible for "shaping young minds." Scary, isn't it?

I had to share...

What's in a name?

Girard called me yesterday afternoon and told me about this kitten that was found in the parking garage of his work. G grew up with cats, so he likes them. Soon he started hinting around that nobody could take the kitty and so on...so, long story short- we've got a kitty now!

We think it's a girl, and she is so cute. She's gray and white striped and very small. Here's the thing: we don't know what to name her.

When I thought it was a boy, I thought we'd name it Rufus, but now I'm not sure. G likes the name Squirt.

So any thoughts? Suggestions?

Happy Birthday Maggie!

I'm going to Little Rock this weekend to celebrate my little sisters' 15th birthday. God, I feel old. Even though she doesn't know this blog exists, Happy Birthday Maggie!

You are Morgan!

Which Laguna Beach Cast Member are you?
brought to you by

Monday, August 08, 2005

Here she is, Miss America!

Is it wrong that I am completely pumped about Miss Teen USA tonight?

Are Girard and I crazy because we sit there and try and figure out who is "enhanced?"

Should I be concerned that Girard refers to his favorite contestants as "The Next Mrs. Boineau?"

I'm taking bets on how many times "world peace" is mentioned...anyone care to make it interesting?

An open letter...

Dear yeast infection,

Hello. I understand that you are just one of those little unpleasant things that decides to show up every now and then, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't come during my "time of the month." Not only am I bloated, pasty, highly irritable and crampy, but I also have to deal with all of the things that come with a visit from you.

While I would rather never have a visit from you ever again, I realize that you are going to be a lot like my dad's college buddy that came and slept on the couch when I was a baby. I would throw toys at him from my playpen and he insisted on laying there, snoring and drooling. Much like him, you are going to sit there until I throw various things at you...thank you Diflucan, but that is another letter for another time.

Anyway, please just see that next time you decide to come, schedule an appointment and ask me if it is a good time.

Thank you.

Poll: How hot is it right now in your city?

a. Warm
b. Hot
c. Africa hot
d. Scorching
e. I cooked my breakfast on the hood of my car and my head feels like it's on fire

Fortunately, New Orleans is at "c" right now, but in the afternoon, it's "d"

-sorry, I'm just really bored right now

I need a part-time job...

In order to support my iTunes habit...

Girard comes home tonight!!

Where ya from, you sexy thang?

I thought I'd put in some pictures for fun...look ma, no drink! At least not in this shot.

Just call me Crash

I'm babysitting my boss's kids today, and I decide to take the baby out because the maid is there and she hates it when people stay around while she's cleaning.

I back out of the driveway, the baby starts crying, I divert my attention for 2 seconds and then...

I hit the maid's car.

Megan and Cassie can tell you that my driving record is, well, spotty.

Good times.

Eww, ewww, ewwwww!

The other night G and I are sound asleep and then I wake up because he jumps 30 feet in the air and is flinging his arms around like someone lit him on fire.

He turns on the light. There was a roach crawling down his arm.

G kills the roach and because it didn't get on the covers I climb back into bed only to find another roach crawling on the covers.

A flying roach. Yes, down here, some roaches can fly.

To make this shorter, imagine me armed with a can of Raid, screaming, spraying, and closing my eyes because the roach was flying towards my head.

I killed it. Roaches fear me. We spent the rest of the night on the futon. And G sprayed outside, inside, up, down, everywhere the next day. I spent most of the day washing everything that had come in contact with the awful, awful roaches.

I feel dirty, and not in a good way.

Can anyone spare an Ambien?

First off, I'd like to say: congratulations on your wedding Kelly Kapowski! I mean, I was a little disappointed that you and Zack Morris didn't get hitched...just imagine, you could have had enough babies to bring back Zack Attack! But I digress...was Lisa at the wedding? I hope so.

I haven't slept well in over a week. The wedding nightmares have started. Should I hire a bus for people to get to the church? What flowers should I use? Will people be mad that I don't invite their children? Should I hire a babysitter for said children? What if the band doesn't show up? What if no one dances?!? What if the food sucks?!? What if everyone hates the reception?!? Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Someone please help me.

She does what?

So Hurricane Dennis passed us by, which is great for us, but not so great for the Panhandle--which makes me feel really stupid and whiny about the next thing I am going to say...

I just found out that a girl I graduated from high school with has an awesome job in marketing and public relations in Dallas. Here is why this bothers me:

1. Once, while working on a project together, she corrected me and told me that tomorrow was actually spelled "tumorrow."

2. She got in a fight with one of her friends and when they made up, she was heard saying, "It's okay...it was just a misunderstandment." Apparently that's a word.

3. I am awful at math. Horrible. Got tested in college for it horrible. She did worse than I did in our remedial math class in high school.

4. She was also not very nice.

...and now she has a job I would love to have. So I'm sitting here eating peanut M&M's feeling sorry for myself. The truth is that I haven't done much to get myself out of this rut. I'll search for jobs but I pretty much stop there. Fear of rejection is no fun. I just need to realize that a job is not going to fall in my lap.

Thar she blows!

TS Cindy wasn't too much trouble...cleared the yard of limbs and debris yesterday for about 3 hours, but hey, I got a tan!

Now Dennis is out there...I can hear the weathermen now- "Dennis the Menace" har har har.

Wish us luck. Our flood insurance hasn't kicked in yet.

Little Rock...again

Again, as in the third time in about 5 years. I know it doesn't affect me that much because I won't be moving with them, but it breaks my heart for my little sisters. My parents let me finish my high school years in one place (which was Little Rock) but Maggie (who is 14 going on 21) is having to leave after her freshman year.

She loves her school. She loves her friends. She loves Tampa. I liked Little Rock because I was there for about 7 years but Mags has tasted the beaches and almost constant sunshine of Florida, and she's not happy about going to a city where it doesn't snow, it just ices over.

I also know she's afraid of something else. She's popular at her school. She's quite the social butterfly. I know that she is terrified of being an outsider. She knows some girls from the other times we lived in the Rock, but people change. She met up with one of them and it did not go well. I admit it even though it sounds shallow, it must be scary to go from being well-liked to no one really knowing you. I didn't have this problem...I was kind of a nerd. (shocker!)

I can relate to the feeling well after moving so much. Going to a new school, praying to God that someone would be your friend, etc...

And we all know how bitchy high school girls can be. At one point or another all of us were.

Clare will be okay, she's only 6, but she's got the best group of buddies on our block. Her best friend is a little boy named Logan, and they are already crying about how much they'll miss each other.

So, to conclude my epic novel...

I know it's not the end of the world. I know Maggie will be okay. I know Clare will be okay. They make friends very fast. But they are my girls, and I hate to see them sad.

Oh, and Tropical Storm Cindy, please don't knock my power out/flood my house/be a pain in the arse.

Thank you.

Bella Roma and Meg's All Grown Up

Hello dahlings, I'm back from my holiday across the ocean. (Imagine I'm saying that with some kind of accent, it's more effective that way)
Rome was beautiful, of course. We got to go to a Mass in St. Peter's Basilica, which rocked my socks off. We also got to see Pope Benedict (or B-Rat, as I like to call him) say the Angelus. It was like a rock concert.

People had signs, posters, cheers and songs. It was crazy. But fun.

Next on the agenda, our girl Megan has a job now and is talking about 401k's and insurance plans. And the thing is, I got so excited when I heard she had a 401k because I was thinking how great it was that she can save money for her future. WE ARE OLD. But it's still awesome. You did it M.

I still need to send you a cookie bouqet. I mean, cookies posing as flowers. Ingenious!!

Oh, and Katie, I have not known you long, but I feel like I do because of all the fun stories Megan tells me...so I'd like to say Happy Birthday!!

Slow your Mustang down...

So I'm driving along yesterday when I see this silver Mustang coming up really fast behind me. First of all, I'm already going over the speed limit, so I see no reason to speed up. Second of all, the stop sign was like 10 feet away, so I just keep driving.

The Mustang passes me on a 2 lane road and almost hits a car coming from the other direction, and then it almost hits me cutting in front of me and swerving to miss the other car.

Being the lady that I am, I show these teenage punkarses my middle finger and call him a name that begins with an "m" and ends with and "er." I'm sure you all know what I mean.

Anyhoo, the kid and his wannabe Backstreet Boy friend turn around and smile at me, and he BACKS HIS CAR UP INTO MINE. Yeah, tapped the front of my car. Then he sped off.

I followed him for as long as I could, but he was going about 50 down residential streets where there are a lot of children. He also passed (once again, on a non-passing street) about 2 other cars, so I lost him.

I did, however, get his license plate number. Bwwwahhhhaaaa!

Being the old woman that I am, I called the police. I told the operator he hit me, but didn't file a report because I knew there was no damage. She sent out a unit though because I said he was driving dangerously. I also seriously sounded like my mom when I said, "I think he might be on something." Truth is, I don't know if he was, but if it makes them take the call more seriously, so be it.

Cassie called right after it happened. Thank God because I was shaking like a leaf and her voice had this magical soothing effect. Props to Cassie.

Long story even longer, Girard is going to ask some of his cop friends to "run" the number. My boss also used to work for the DA, so he said he would too. I'd love to call this kids parents and tell them what he did.

I may be stupid, but if I were this kids' parents, I'd be mortified.

Sorry my story was so long. Happy Friday everyone!
I'm going to Rome tomorrow to see the fam!!

Pbbbbttthhh...

There hasn't been too much excitement here lately.
The band that I was in love with for the wedding told me recently that, oops, they're going to Florida that weekend...
I was so excited to get them too- I saw them play last weekend and they were awesome.
Girard was pumped because they played the Dukes of Hazzard intro song.
I know, wearerednecks.com.
I was excited because they played Back Dat Ass Up by my homeslice Juvenile and the Cash Money Millionaires.
Oh well, can't win 'em all. Every other band I've looked up is like 85 years old, though.
::Stomping feet and pouting::
I'll get over it...I just need to brood for a little while.
Thanks for listening boys and girls.

Whew! That was odd...

I typed in my blog address and what does it pull up? A page for American Bible Studies...not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm not exactly a "Bible Studies" kind of girl...

Upon closer inspection, I had simply left out a letter in the address. What a difference an "s" can make.

Recap of my Memorial Day weekend. Rain. Sleep. Worked half of the day Monday. More rain. More sleep. Oh, and cheeseburgers. Yum.
Oh, and another thing...some random kid felt free to grab my boob while he was extremely intoxicated.
Megan and Cassie, it was one of Chewy's friends....what a suprise.

Thou art forgiven...until you mess up again

The boy completely redeemed himself. Red alert, I'm about to get sappy.

I have this binder for planning the wedding- it is red. Now, I like red, but I feel that a wedding planning binder should be white, and I have always expressed this.

I came home late last night from a long evening of babysitting to find a white binder with dividers (!) propped up on the couch. Yes, I am an office supply nerd sometimes.
(One of my big thrills in HS was to go shopping for new binders and looseleaf...feel free to point and laugh at me)

The reason I was so excited is this:
As cliche as it is, I love the little things. He'd heard me whine (repeatedly) about not having a white binder and got it for me even when I could've gotten off my arse and bought it myself.

Smooches for the boy.

Are you crying?

Last night Girard and I got into this huge fight at 11:30 at night...that's always fun; being exhausted, yelling and crying. Of course the fight was about the wedding and me finding a new job...

He heard me sniffle and asked..."Are you crying?" in a really shocked voice. That certainly made things better (in case you haven't noticed, I'm having fun with the italics button). Anyway, it all worked out, we made up and today I enjoyed the side-effects of crying:

Really, really, really puffy eyes. Thank God for Origins No Puffery gel.

Jet-settin' Jane

So I can't help myself...I've got to post again. This weekend Girard and I went to see Megan's graduation from Wash U in St. Louis. She won an award! Yay Megan.

So proud of her.

Got to meet all of the friends she talks about. They made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself...whoops, too much information. Even though I'm a little jealous that they get to see her all of the time, I'm glad she found such great friends.

Then it was off to Houston. Meg, her fab BF Chris, G and I went to Houston to our friend Laurie's wedding. Cassie and wonderful BF Bryan met us there.

We are getting old.

Saw a few people from college that I could've gone the rest of my life without seeing, but that's okay...it was still good times. Lots of alcohol, picture taking (like the girls we are) and trying to dance with some rhythm. Well, me at least. Megan and Cassie can dance. I, on the other hand, am the kind that thinks she can dance after a few vodka tonics...not so.

Patting the microphone...

Testing, testing...is this thing on? At the suggestion of my best friend Megan, I'm giving this blog thing a shot...I'll try to make it as interesting as I can. So, I'm getting married in 10 months. It seems really far away, but people keep telling me how fast it'll go by. Great...and I don't have much done! I'll try to keep the wedding whining to a minimum, I promise...